This year my resolution is to break others’ resolutions …..
Sounds mean does it?!!!!!?

If you do then you’ll be pleased to know that I did too …….but lol! A little meanness is good for a while ….these changed my mind

We will pack you off in the next train if you come visiting us in this shape and size this year (that was My dear Dad and Mom)

Don’t expect me to buy you chocolates and sweets this year unless (I couldn’t believe my ears!!! My future Hubs)

I refuse to see you in this shape when I come down next year (one of my best friends I met online, is he one of my best friends or my worst enemy!!!)


So on and so forth….

They made resolutions this time for me and not for themselves. So it becomes, I guess, my responsibility to break them this time A little meanness can be injected into the sweetness in me….

I resolved myself to be the resolution breaker of the year …..

It is good to be mean once in a while……..especially when people who love you take such dangerous stands and such an attitude towards you and when it comes to shelter and food. I love you guys for being what you are and who you are to me …

Food…ahha….how do I live without them, especially those yummy Chocolates and ice creams …it is true when Amma said once that if somebody squeezes me, ice cream would ooze out ………those were the days when people thought Ice cream was good for me and they all screamed for ice cream in one voice along …..

Times have changed drastically sob! Sob!! sob!!!…..Everybody seems to have forgotten about ice creams after all ….

It has been a wonderful beginning this year…..(this year sounds long ago …) the flimsiness of our celebrations…

The unofficial first day of the year i.e. today the 2nd of January was an early one as always taking in the sights and sounds of the sleepy city ….slowly waking up to start its activities of the day.

The theatre and the gardens looked gr8 with the fog in the soft rays of the sun rising from far beyond ….
And to top it all I got this verse when I took a chit from my Holy chit box

“If you believe you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer”
(Mathew 21:22)

I wonder how all the predictors both the sun and moon signs across the board came up with hard work for me this year …..Work hard they all say and then the fruits would be sweet to taste by the end …….pretty general I guess but when there is no smoke without a fire …..so I will remain working hard to break the resolutions others were forced to make on my behalf …….

So let’s celebrate the New Year……..

Happy new Year …….friends

the time to be happy is now
the place to be happy is here
and the way to be happy
is to make someone happy
and have a little heaven right here
there is high and low everywhere
Happiness in the air
come along sing a song
come along sing it loud
sing again to brighten up this day
…….Happy new year friends ……..
lots of love, kisses, hugs
prayers and regards
Ash
(i’m happy atleast my comp is behavinbg well for me to post this greeting to all my friends out here….maybe the comp knows the importance of the occassion and the meaning of the bond we all share …….)

tough decisions?!?!?!

I wonder, what would have happened to us if would be was non-existent in the English vocabulary.

Next week, this time I would be in the train.
Last to last Saturday, I was elated that I would be in the train towards home the following week, same time ………
And next Sunday, I would be wondering when I would board that train next, to restination – home again…………………………

It happens to me all the time… the same thought flow, every time I book tickets for home………Surely I wouldn’t be that unique a creation to have such isolated thoughts! Every body’s mind except for those few who have forgotten all worry about tomorrow will be in a state of constant motion. The laws of Physics suit us so well.
It looks like an arduous task to stay in the present …;)

We are always dreaming………either in the nights (the best time when there isn’t any load on our minds)………or during the day (the worst time when the saw is right above our heads in various forms and voices) ……about Tomorrow, of course.

The car I would buy or the house I would construct or if not anything else there is the stock market to worry about now – Shares – will the value go up will I be able to sell them?!! Should I buy those??!!!
At office, Oh! The deadline is tomorrow..…I have to work …………………

We all seem to be in a constant state of worry (in motion as usual according to the law) ……no wonder myriads of us have or are prospective victims of high blood pressure, heart attack and all such depressive ailments.

STD IX is when the worry period starts – Stage -1……… the engineering aspirants look up to IIT, I would be there for my Btech. The brilliants postal course for the JEE begins in 9th I believe. Std IX is not all that good either other subject wise too…History time is Civilization time and then one has no other source but to mug the text…all about Indus, Mesopotamia, the Romans the Greeks the British…. Mathematics is trigonometry time I guess, if I hadn’t learnt sines and cosines in an earlier class, you guys can fill in the rest. And to top it all, our seniors would have warned us, better enjoy yourself now, this is the last tension free year………so in comes the pressure to enjoy amidst all other would be Anxieties…

My brother’s Physics tuition Sir would tell their STD XII batch “It would be a tough time for you all now… tuitions, entrance coaching, peer pressure, parental pressure, school pressure, your own pressure to do well…… still there is a consolation. (ah!!! the class thought at least one person understands our predicament J) ….all over India there are about 3 lakh students like you in the same mental state. You guys have company…”

When in 9th it would be over after the STD X board exams, when in 10th it is the class XII board that matters…by the time one climbs till 12th suddenly the entrance exam and then one’s future would be made….what about after the great entry into the college of our dreams the final year exams and we would be somebody with a degree as a tail …..
Would bes continue. …till we get engaged and there is a would be spouse…

I wonder when I would be in the company of present tense and its partners.

…………Unborn Tomorrow…………
……………Dead Yesterday…………
………………Why fret…………………
…… If today be sweet! ………
(The Persian Poet Omar Khayyam)

I wonder when I would be would be-free…free from the use of these gerunds.


Slips of the Mind ?

The first thing I did on Monday morning was call up my sweet heart Rose, it was her birthday on Sunday….
now if u ask me whether I make it a habit to wish my best friends belatedly, I would disagree to it. I was on a late train on Sunday towards home and the Indian standard time does not apply to the region of the Northeast where my best buddy resides. I have a strong hunch that they wake up at 3 in the morning when the sun shows it face there and sleep at around 5or 6 ….that was what I was told about the north east when in the university a few months back.

So Monday morning was the only earliest time I had nearest to her birthday to wish her “happy birthday, happy birthday my dear Rose…Happy happy birthday…. my dear rose”. I wished, I sang and I was talking …..when I was about to keep the receiver down she said …..it wasn’t my birthday yesterday. OMG!! Then it struck me that hers was on 9th the same date as mine in another month …….how could I forgive myself for such a lapse……

Rewind …..it was the month of October and my senior called me about 8 o’ in the night in reply to my missed call earlier on during the day …it was her birthday too……I sang and wished her and then my senior from school, college and university says…..what happened to your birthday memory …check your diary before you wish someone ….I was born two days before this day. Shocked!! Stunted!!

The month of August……..and the same happened this time I wished my friend well in advance a week ahead of the birth dates….

Rose’s incident took me by surprise again …..three incidents in a row in a year. Something that never happened to me anytime in my life ….my birthday diary is in my head …I remember and I wish people first thing that day either midnight or latest by morning ……
Now that three is a good number ….there is a saying in my language….if something wrong happens once it will happen thrice …. Now the three is done and I wish I get my dated right….

Strange though ….
Good thing I was on this side of the receiver always and not on the same side as my friends as in that case I would have to use my legs to run around and stay away from them for a time

a christmas of the past

It was a shoe box…….with a slit in its lid wrapped in glossy paper gleaming by the window side. Everybody was heading towards it first thing in the morning as they entered class, dropping chits of paper into it. I wondered whether this would be just the first day enthusiasm to try out the new product! But no! I had difficulty in taking away the box after the two weeks were over. In the coming year these two weeks before the party were days all  of us looked forward to in spite of the exams and class work..I felt happy that the class had immediately responded to the idea of exchanging letters and knick knacks to their Christmas friends anonymously.I was in my first year of graduation when we started the culture of communication to our Christmas friends in my college via the hand mail. Being the prefect of a class of 60 girls I just had a minute to make the girls shout hurrah!! They picked their chits and were enthusiastic about writing to their Christmas pals in class in utmost secrecy. Of course there was a prize for the friend who never guessed who her Christmas pen pal was in class after two weeks of continuous chit chat through paper.

The teachers complained the first day. The students were more into creatively hiding themselves in their letters than being attentive to Shakespeare, Marlowe or Tagore. But their interest level rose and soon they were picking lots too to participate in the Christmas party letter writing ritual. Our class made history, as we were a bunch of bubbly girls who wanted to celebrate anything and everything (a few of course, crazy ones who misguided the others into following their ways of enjoyment in life)

By the end of three years, we were famous….we were the batch who received gifts form the teachers for giving them that extra bit of fun during their teaching days. The bakery guys knew the dimensions of the cake we needed, the number of juice bottles and packets we ordered and the teachers in turn understood that when some of us were restless during class hours, it meant there was soon to be a celebration for something ready to appear. Nobody minded this and the teachers in the staffroom next door leased out their small corner for the organizers to meet and make others merry.

Every party was backed with elaborate planning and execution …..the handmade invitation cards, the presents and the surprise committee who scratched their brains hard to bring about the sudden wow! There was a bit of us in every thing we did.


So the Christmas friend history says we pick a person maybe from a class or a whole school or college. On specified day we ought to buy a present and hand it over to the friend. It kind of fosters friendship or at times at least a hi- bye bond. (If that is a bond). Chez had a post on Christmas friend. Essentially, when in lower catechism classes the students are told to avoid certain loved things – maybe watching a serial or a cartoon show, or biting into your favorite chocolate or maybe doing the right thing by obeying parents unconditionally or something like that…small deeds that could amount to making the birth of Jesus Christ comfortable. Poor Christ, they used to say, he was born in a manger with bed of straw and had no good flashy clothes like you all to wear. So we by our small good deeds were making a beautiful bed, clothes and all those Johnson&Johnson creams and lotions for the Lord.

It is fun observing the kids during the Christmas season where they are willing to do anything for a loved one to provide their share of delicacies for Christ.

Our Christmas friend letter ritual was for fun …….but it did bring all us together…..

Starting trouble

Starting trouble

Let’s start jogging tomorrow …..
And that tomorrow never comes.

Let’s cook from tonight
And the evening never arrives

Let’s go somewhere for picnic …..
And that picnic never shapes into solid plans.

Why do we rely on tomorrow so much and not do things from this moment.
Is this more of procrastination or a starting trouble like with the cars which run on diesel?

I have a fear of getting on to an escalator …..I have never tried to resolve it as I was always in company when I went on one…either my brother or my friends who would immediately hold my hand before stepping on. Maybe the day I’m alone I would try to get on it and the fear would vanish.

Same was the case when I started jogging. I had this mortal suspicion that I don’t jog well. Now if you ask me to elucidate what jogging well means, it would put me in a dilemma. It is something in my head rather than in my daily ways. A hindrance that makes me takes time to start to lift my leg in rhythm to jog rather than walking.

There are people who don’t use pillow while they sleep. The reason would perhaps be that some aunt or uncle would have scared them of spondylitis in their younger days.

Stage fright is another of those frightening blues one face in life. It takes great courage to speak in front of an audience, like one new hire said for TGIF the other day, I have never spoken to an audience with a majority of girl population before in my life.

What is to be done to stop us from having these kinds of attacks in life? The initial thrust or the energy required to just burst into the activity needs to be searched for. I am reminded of the energy diagram in class XII Physics, thermodynamics, I guess, where if no energy line and the graph is of no use. Hey such an energy line is there is chemistry too, those diagrams that represented elements with their shells and valence electrons. (Correct me if I’m wrong, I had left science after grade XII).

Does tomorrow never dies…..as it always is comes a day after today!!!!!

reminded of Kabir’s doha…(couplets)

“kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab.
pal me palray hoyegi, bahuri karega tab.”
(i guess this is the right one …..forgive me if i’m mispelled.)

myths

Poppy was about four years old then. He dashed into the bedroom as soon as he came from his Kindergarten classes and lol! Under his pillow were presents he had written to the “Tooth Fairy”. His tooth had vanished and in its place were presents wrapped in glossy gift papers of all shapes and sizes. Daddy had just managed to tuck them under Poppy’s pillow just in time before the little one came home from school. Cars and chocolates and gold coins (those gold coin chocolates). Tooth fairy had accepted my bro’s tooth, these many presents were an indication that the tooth was in good condition without cavity or minor problems. So Poppy brushed more regularly after this so that tooth fairy could give him more gifts in exchange for his teeth.

I was amused at how my bro believed such a thing as tooth fairy and instantly reading my thoughts my MJ said, “Daddy had kept presents for you too in the same way.”

Sindchechi was busy in the kitchen when Vivek and Neha proudly showed the gifts Santa had given them to their aunt. There was a beautiful guitar which did sound great when strum on for Neha baby. “Sindchechi where did u get that from……..” Oh, Josettan bought it from…No mamma, Vivek interrupted Santa gave it to Neha for being a good girl this year.
Sindchech literally had to put her feet in her mouth to avoid the story of Uncle Santa falling to pieces for these little ones.

We all have believed in tooth fairies and Uncle Santa and of course fairy godmothers after the Cinderella- pumpkin story. I guess we still believe in others if not these even though we have become legally adults, and of voting age.

Come to think of it these myths are fun. Cartoon network is one of those channels that promote these myths thru their Easter and Christmas and Halloween special programs and so do the story books and our oral tradition carried down to us from our forefathers. My DJ it seems used to read to me when I was a baby, from the moment I was brought home from the hospital says MJ. Living in a country like India with more than 5000 years of history, superstitions and myths just become a part of one’s life unconsciously. We may not be always aware why we perform certain things in a particular manner and why not the other way.
I am literally scared to have a quarrel with my dad and go for some thing good. I will never win the first place if I ever do, but I’ll win something. This I just a belief.

The new ad for the Pears soap is one similar lines, the little girlie wants to see her mother the first thing in the morning as her face radiates with the pears glow and it is apparently good for her and the activities of the day. May the media nowadays over do the myth thingy and these push media are in a way inculcating certain kind of notions which if for promotional and profit sake would ruin the generation.

Come to think of it every action of ours is based on something or the other. It could be an empirically proved fact or just a faith, rumor or gossip that goes around from age to age.

Nevertheless, it feels really good to still believe in Santa Clause and fairy godmothers at sometimes like Jen has stated in her post.


Contentment….. complains……and the cab driver


Contentment …….complains………and the cab driver

Satisfaction is the need of the hour. It is so elusive in nature that even if something does fall in place one tends to crib about it. It is something I feel akin to the Pandora’s Box, the contents eager to fly away as soon as the lid is open.

It happened to me surprisingly this morning that I was so unhappy about my cab driver knocking my door at 7:59am in the morning when the pick up was at 8:15 am.
Was that too silly of me!

It got me thinking as to why we in the human race always complain for about anything and everything that comes our way. The grass across the fence, maybe even in the space from around our feet looks “greener” and “greenest” as compared to what we are standing on.

Strange, I guess. We live our short life on this planet with minimal of joy and maximum sorrow. Yes “Yeh Dil mange more”. Consumerism is a fact of the world today which began with Capitalism in England way back in the 17th century. It has led the way to our predicament now a days. Or is it the growing development and progress that has ensued such a big boom during the industrial revolution?

Was Man happy during the Stone Age, making fire from flint or living on raw flesh and wild fruits? Oooooops!!!! It was never wild and raw for them as that was all they had around them to fill their tummy.

My thinking cap is on and questions pop up from all over my so called brain locked inside securely in my skull.

Needs or is it dreams of greater inventions and discoveries …..What is at the core of such dissatisfaction?

There is new trend, in the act of committing suicide these days, observed for a few years now, Mass suicide. The entire family decides to take a trip to heaven or hell or purgatory as the case maybe. The inability to live well in comparison to our fellow citizens has forced some to step towards death.

Who is to blame here! The people? Society? Needs? Minds which cook up all hypothetical stuff and implement it after experimentation?

The cab driver was just doing his duty. Over punctuality is not that bad a quality. Then why did I crib as I do when the cab comes late at times!!!

the debate, i wish i was a part of the agaisnt camp….

It is Christmas season and we at office are in the efforts to make the season live and into life and bring everyone else into life.

Well there was the debate competition today. The topic: “Live – in relationships are we ready for it”. I haven’t heard such a frivolous topic for a debate ever in short span of life.
There can be people nodding their heads against what I proposed just now but it is just that it caused too much of an indigestion for me from the time I knew that I was or rather my team was going for it and not against.

Well here is what I think about the topic.

It has happened before and it has happened yet again that I had to speak for something I totally was against. Earlier it was about dowry and now this. But that is the hassle of taking part in a competition. The choice aspect of it is just taken away.

Here are some of the points I cooked up for the debate …….

Live-in- relationship as a prelude to marriage should be considered as a trial and error method like it is in the empirical world of science practiced from time immemorial. The tag line should be trying it out before you really jump into it. If such an experimental practice is prevalent in science is in vogue for such a long time then why not try out and go ahead. The small issues that lead to a mountain will be sorted out in the precursor to marriage. Again Indian society would be ready for it now because the women will give the affirmative nod this time as men have been broad minded enough from a long time. So when the orthodox leaf agrees why not the rest.  Women working the service sector like the IT and the ITEC earning double and triple they used to have come to enjoy a certain kind of freedom that they would not love to compromise in stifling marriage.(assuming that matrimony is suffocating). So why not try out first before jumping into a commitment of 30- 40- 50 years. well, live- ins are advised not for any tom dick and harry on the road, but for those in love and willing to get married and what to have a pre knowledge of what that person is. You see in love relationship the lovers may not always show their negatives in order to impress their partner. They stick to their positives and then the other half or ¾ or quarter comes out as always said in the eye opener called marriage.
The independence, absence legal hassles and trauma involved in divorce is clearly out of the context. If time had permitted I would fit in “life is not a bed of roses or thorns it is how u live with it.”

Teams came up with happiness as the motto of a live – in relationship. Some couldn’t even get to the point as they had two minutes ticking off with just introduction. It was fun to be a part of something I was an expert in, after a long period of time. But the topic, I still wonder why I took part; I could have sat in a corner and gone off home, packed my luggage for my shifting of houses.

Well I frankly had my heart for a lovely married life minus the precursor. Maybe it is the mind set I have been brought up in, but live in is something I can’ t imagine myself doing in the span of my life. it would be unfair on my part to say that I support or have no problems if others follow it.  But the opposition teams didn’t hold much water too. The topic was made into something like live in v/s marriage when live in was supposed to be neither anti marriage nor anti rules. It was a just a way of saying that be together for a while and understand each other before one really gets married so that divorce, primarily and small teeny wheeny issues could be avoided and a happy life ever after can ensue after the oath in the church or the 7 rounds around the fire.

Well, wake up and I will say that marriages are the best thing. A little more understanding and a little less ego and a lot of love minus compromise can lead into a successful and joyful married life. I am for it. Even staying single is difficult. We are born to be in a society where coexistence is a part of our life where nobody or no thing or no system should be devoid of their functions supposed to be performed by them intheir life.

jottings ……..

Friends are amazing ……….. that’s says it all
Irritation was the only word that would describe me from morning. I warned people not to talk with me as I do have a tendency to go purple and green and so did they. The plates within my brain were beginning to rumble and shake and the trembling would soon be unleashed. This would definitely hamper the bond I share with many here. I nearly threw back a ball playfully thrown at me back with all the fire, fierce and force that was suppressed within me. Still I never knew, never got an answer to my trauma. I was confused as to what had happened to me, or was it from the time I got up in the morning…

The clouds have cleared now that I have had a talk with my best friend from school. It was at the spur of moment. This was the way my soul or whatever is inside pointed at, at getting some relief. The answer is still not in sight. Nevertheless I have a sense of calmness within me that will carry me long enough to stay put till the 16 of December in this city when I leave for my home to come back all rejuvenated and happy in full form to work.

There are moments in our lives when everybody is upset and low as my MJ puts it sometime back in the afternoon. “It is only natural” she said. “Nobody could be always happy jolly and ho! ho! ho! round the clock.” But what matters is how and when we come out of it. There are days when one feels like practicing boxing on the wall like did today, my buddy told me wait till dinner time and your boxing bag would be ready. The frustration at not knowing what was frustrating me was even more frustrating than any other frustration. This was the root cause of all those dark clouds over me today.

Now I am calm. It feels like I have redeemed myself of every darn thing and come back to life to live afresh. I like the optimism that has filled in within me after a span of trickling to bare minimum in the past few hours. I remember the poem “

Birches”, Frost I guess who wrote

It’s when I’m weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig’s having lashed across it open.
I’d like to get away from earth awhile

And then come back to it and begin over.

No wonder the concept of holidays, vacations and recreation on yearly, monthly and weekly/daily basis.

I feel like those assassins in Dan Brown’s books, the momentary peace that floods them when they are done with their job. Ohm shanti shanti shanti. I love the peace and serenity that has come into me after the tumultuous hours of storm.

Friends are simply amazing to be around with. Friends as in not the hi! and bye! types, but those few true ones who really care about you and want you to be in the best of your moods for ever. Today was one such day when I feel obliged to the power above for those precious people whom I can call mine and me theirs.

Thank you is too formal a salutation which would gain me a slap momentarily or taunts till the end of my existence if I utter those. But from the bottom of my heart I adore you guys, my friends. I hope too that all get such people who will be there for ever….

This reminds of our Greek philosopher Aristotle who put up the ever common one liner “man is a social animal”. Society is created for inter-dependence and not independence. No wonder we depend on others, if not regularly but occasionally to take a step forward. But isn’t this statement a complete blunder on my part as we need somebody or other’s help to take a step from the time we get up with the alarm clock ringing to the night blankets we use for warmth from the electric fan that runs on full speed.