Pretense!

Do you run away from pretensions? 

I do. 

I find it very taxing to be someone else, talk something else while I feel a completely different way. Imagine the mind space and brain power required to remember all those pretenses. Unless, it is a surprise party I am part of, I may lie then to keep up the surprise 😎😎 but those are temporary and well meaning! 😇

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Published by

achodi erani

An Aquarius Woman

69 thoughts on “Pretense!”

      1. well, in that case you learn about people… human nature can be learnt only from humans!! when I am outside I love to watch people… see how they deal with situations….

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                  1. That is life, isn’t it, good and bad do make a balance, with out bad we would never know good exists! that’s the rhythm of life!!

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                    1. I agree, but it is not possible for them to be like that always… what if they are in the process of changing, then they would not want their old habits to come out again… old habits die hard, to bring it out and about again is not worth it..

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                    2. No not all of them are accepted!! First thing of human nature is to judge, comment and realize, then lastly maybe understand!!

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                    3. I’d say people in general if they accept what they are, then everything falls in place. People around and their judgements begin to affect only when the person is unsure what they are! But that said making that decision, accepting all the demons and angels is tough. But once done life is smooth

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                    4. you yourself said that if the person is unsure of what they are then everything and anything said will affect them!! when a person is unsure, it means they are in the process of knowing themselves, trying to figure out things…. its like asking a sapling to weather the harsh weather conditions…its unfair!

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                    5. I do agree, it does not go on life long, but some times life is unpredictable, then again doubt may surface and you do need a little time to set your thoughts straight! That’s life, process of learning never ends!

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                    6. No Ash, for some it may, but again its not like that for all… I never truly felt anything like that before, but after a few losses, I did want time to think about things, where I stand and so forth, unfortunately it happened to be late in my life!!

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                    7. well, at least figured out what I need to be doing, that is the right thing! life has to go on….but being strong is very important… being positive is important…

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                    8. yes, positive frame is very important, it is from my own experience… I think that’s what helped me survive and fight back…

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                    9. No, I am not stating it merely for arguments… I was a wreck… so much so, my husband was kind enough to sell our house and move to where I am now! it was a big move, but it did bring me back to life I think!

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                    10. people often never let out their true feelings of thoughts is they themselves are in doubt about it, as they too don’t want to become prey!!

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                    11. Yes, I fear too… don’t want the wrong meaning to go out… if it does it takes for ever to clear it out!!

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                    12. No, people don’t know who the real you is! they simply want things their way, if not they are ready to judge!

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                    13. it does matter, it will only affect their generation… innocent kids to some extent are affected by the choice of their parents!! feels like punishing them for a mistake its not even theirs to begin with…how many kids of a prostitute are looked with respect… first of all who cares to think why or how they ended up being like one…no one thinks or cares to know about… but are willing to judge..

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                    14. Now that is an extreme example. I can bring up such too. That is not the point. The point is do not put undue importance on what people say. In case of children, well I get your point but sacrificing yourself for their sake feeds frustration in yours and tbeirs in the long run. Like a couple who decide ronstay together for the sake of their kids. The hell that the kids life become because of that one decision …

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                    15. I don’t think it would affect the kids, the couple would have not come to decision to live together for kids if they weren’t going to be able to handle it! that’s when divorce comes to play, isn’t it! Sacrificing for the kids…. that in a way is our responsibility as we are ones bringing them to life… its our choice, then stick to it to make the life you created happy

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                    16. I have friends who have suffered! Divorce brings up a different set of problems of a single parent or a step parent/kids. But think about it, what the parents think they are doing for the sake of their kids, is actually not working out for neither the parents nor the kids.

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                    17. No It does, when the kids are old enough they will know, until then, its an illusion created by parents as a safety net for them, for their emotional development too…. Yes I do have friends who have divorced, their kids are grown… one of them is even encourage the mom to date again and get married….

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                    18. well, then that’s when the person has to decide what they want…. and put it strongly in front of the kids…. I know a friend who got her dad remarried after her mom passed away, she was married too… so…

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                    19. There are both kinds of people and children. An aunt of mine married a few years ago after my uncle passed away. People had trouble accepting but she shut them up by telling them, will you be able to give me your time always?

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                    20. wow, that’s really good of her to give back… Yeah people only judge and comment… they don’t think of reality… some times it needs to hit them hard in the face for them to realize…

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                    21. People think of rules and rituals and society much more than what a person really thinks. I have often wondered about widowed women! How often have people cared about their emotions and urges? They are still one of the relegated se living in our society.. Many of them, not all put under some type because of their marital status.

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                    22. no, just because they are not showing it, it does not mean they are not aware of it.. its a choice they make to maintain peace! in some cases…

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                    23. I want happiness. Not an illusion not a mediocre copy. I want me to be really happy, what’s the word for it, joy. The happiness that comes from within. I find people trapped in the societal ties aim for the illusion then. Isn’t that a problem !

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                    24. Who says you cannot be happy! happiness comes from within… illusion is for when you are with others… when you are on your own… you are yourself, the people close to you would know you, so you still get to be yourself when you are around them…

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                    25. Mm.. OK! Not everyone not even we know ourselves fully. A different side of us comes out every time we are with someone. But if we are inherently happy then nothing as such affects us is what I feel people or circumstances.

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                    26. exactly… may be you are giving them what they want.. an illusion of you, yet you are aware of your self and what you want!! making sense!!

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                    27. OK let’s get personal for a minute. I’m being myself when I am sharing all this with you here. This will be the same way I’ll talk if somebody we tells me the same set of details. So it is not an illusion of me you are getting my a part of the real me.

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                    28. That’s good Ash, because I gave my real you to you, I never spoke of my loss or how I had to fight with anyone so far… even my sisters weren’t aware of it until 3 yrs back…

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                    29. you said it girl… feel happy to chat with you always, I do know I don’t have to worry…. its late for you, aren’t you going to sleep.. 😉

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