It is high time we understand that an argument is not a quarrel or a temper tantrum or generating random noise!
It has a narrative logic to it and is a form of conversation where a person/s stacks a set of instances to prove a point. The fun is in the transparency of this stacking, the stacking of these instances and proving that point so that anybody who uses this same stack can take stand, similar, different or mixed when it is opened up for discussion to foster a participation. The multiple points of view and the discussion that follows gives us/me a kind of a cerebral orgasm, a befitting finale to a round of conversations.
To the uninitiated, this is a fight or an ego clash because there is absolutely no culture of arguing out in many homes, schools and other work places. It is almost always discouraged. However, argument is an art that needs to be taught. It has to be differentiated from say, a street rabble. It may be a fight of ideas from different perspectives on an ideological plane. What it does is, it helps us to think through, find proof, unlearn, then relearn, and accept. A certain amount of unlearning is necessary to live and then look out for the alternatives to the official dominant histories to get the whole picture so that we can argue it out if needed be to understand a given situation better 🙂 At the end of the day, we are richer in thought 🙂
It is always fun to sit as a group and have a conversation. It could be about anything, it could be about different view points. We would talk about it, dominate a particular strand of thought, manipulate others into believing the bluff, survive (in the Darwinian sense)… act as a mediator, send the line of thought in an absolutely different direction, turn something on its head, bring in n number of examples to prove a point, rehearse another line of thought, bring another set of examples, take refuge in another’s view point, take that into our stride and prove our point again.. there are strategies, many ways, and a respect for each other. Nevertheless, at the end of those many hours, we are still friends but on a high…
To an onlooker, it may look like a fight of words in the brewing, ready to erupt or that which has already erupted. They stand by, ready to dive in, to save the situation in case of an emergency. With voices raised, all at a time, a few towering over the rest, the rest restless to dive in to make a point, add to it the many gesticulations… somebody stands up with a restlessness, somebody tapping their feet in anticipation, another clawing their fingers into their skin … the scene is deceiving…
I’ve often seen that while people feign they’re up for some healthy discussion regarding any matter, soon the whole exercise becomes futile by their sheer belligerence and unpreparedness to accept a point of view that doesn’t agree with theirs.
In no time, to keep up our side of the deal, we end up justifying ourselves to them when they aren’t willing to even hear us out. Aggression, a high pitched tone or not giving the other person a chance to speak doesn’t make anyone right. Does it?
I find this whole thing very draining. May be that’s why I never scored well in GDs too. I refused to scream and be dragged into ugly arguments by my team members when the topic was something else to begin with. For the same reason I’ve tried to keep my blog free of any ‘volatile’ stuff too.
To get answers and solutions we…
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